A Hillsborough Community College Student Publication since 1978.
by Sandra Accilien
She sat quietly on the beach, staring silently towards the dark black of the ocean. She gazed mutely, but her expression spoke a million words. She couldn’t help but begin to think of the mysteries of the ocean and its enigma. There was so much going on at once.
The fish steadily swimming, the sharks silently stalking their unsuspecting prey, the motionless plants far beneath the depths of the ocean…they were all a part of one ocean, one life form, but they all perplexed her. She began to think of herself, and her own enigma. How was she to solve a puzzle that she did not even have the pieces to? How was she to solve Tiffany?
An impossible task lay ahead of her, but she knew if there was any time to solve this puzzle it was now, as she sat staring into the only thing just as confused as her. What is she going to do? Where is she going? Why is she going there? She wanted someone to slowly come behind her and whisper all the answers to her, but at the same time she became enticed by the idea of having to solve this conundrum herself.
Her life was ending. Her life was beginning. She still, at this point, didn’t truly know who she was. She was strong mentally. She knew that, but how far would that take her in the upcoming years?
She was pulled by her emotions despite her constant resistance against them. At times, she would drown in them, in the vastness of that deep blue riddle, to the point where she felt completely lost. Her family and friends would soon pull her back. But would they always be there? Why was she afraid? Was it because she is afraid of failure? Afraid of pain? As she stood by throughout the years she continuously watched from afar as countless bridges were torn down before her. Disputes, war, love, hate, all mashed together to form a giant, hopeless figure that tore down all before it. That was what
she feared, at least one of the things.Would she be able to weather the storms that broke these numerous bridges?
Probably not, she thought. But she knew deep down inside that she would have to eventually try. Maybe she was not afraid at all, but simply waiting, patiently for the right bridge to be formed before crossing it to the unfamiliar territory… She looked to her friends for support, but failed numerous times to find support from the one person she needed it from most, herself.
She could feel something swelling inside of her as the waves slightly brushed against her feet. She felt cold, but it was not from the gentle touch of the water.
A single tear began to roll softly down her cheek. She began to understand. She did not conform to the ways of the expected, even the warmth of her heart had begun to come to conflict with the cold ocean water touching her body. Nothing inside of her made sense, an unsolvable puzzle, because the pieces were, and always had been, broken. Another tear ran silently down her face. It was who she was, and it made her, Tiffany.
Without true, clear pieces, she could never be solved. She was not meant to be solved, but rather understood, loved, a puzzle left forever unsolved. The separation of her pieces made her strong, invincible. They protected her from being solved, used, and then manipulated by all. Only those who truly deserved to be close would be able to fix the pieces together, and put her together.
Those were the ones that would help her through the upcoming times, the ones who would be there through the forthcoming perils. During the times where she would be drowning, their hands would be seen through the darkness of the surrounding water, and she would be lifted out of the overflow of emotions, obstacles…pain. She did not have to worry; she no longer had to cry anything but tears of joy. She had never been alone, and she never would be. If they believed in her, it was long overdue that she believed in herself.