Snow White and the Magic Mirror

~ Carolina Harris

The queen browses the Internet at her home office; she is learning how to sew using patterns, it is snowing outside. She grabs her iPhone and talks to the king:

“I had an ultrasound this morning; we’ll have a baby girl. Come and see my sonogram pictures”, says the happy queen.

Months later, a beautiful baby girl is born. Her mother named her Snow White. The queen dies after a long illness.

After a year, the king marries a beautiful, conceited and selfish woman. The new queen wears famous designer clothes and spends most of her time in front of the mirror.

She asks the mirror: “Who in the kingdom is the most beautiful?”

“You are the most beautiful in the kingdom.” the mirror answers.

Soon Snow White becomes a beautiful teenager and a Facebook user; seven of her friends are dwarfs.

The queen hates Snow White and argues with the teenager day after day.

The queen goes to the hair salon regularly and talks with the hair stylist.

“Who in the kingdom is the most beautiful?” the queen asks the hair stylist.

“You are beautiful, but Snow White is a million times more beautiful than you.”

The queen hates Snow White even more and orders a huntsman to take her into the woods, the land of the palace. The queen demands the huntsman to kill the girl and to bring Snow White’s lungs and liver as proof.

The huntsman takes Snow White into the forest and when he was about to kill her with a knife, the girl begs the man:

“Please don’t kill me, let me go!”

“I can’t let you go! The queen demanded me to bring your lungs and liver as proof”, says the huntsman.

“Take this money, go to the supermarket. Buy lungs and liver from the meat department, my stepmother will not notice.”

The huntsman let Snow White go free.

Next, Snow White sends a multi-text message to her friends, the seven dwarfs, asking for help. They reply immediately with the directions to their house. Snow White runs into the woods and finds a car. “Good! The keys were left in the ignition”, thinks Snow White.

She types the address in the GPS, chooses “Avoid highways”, “Avoid tolls”. She doesn’t know how to drive a car well, she always had a driver, but she manages and gets into an old road. She drives several miles; she is frightened, it is dark.

Snow White arrives in the little house, gets out of the car, approaches the door and knocks. She realizes that no one is in the house, pushes the door:

“It’s not locked!” She thinks. She enters.

“I am hungry and tired!” she speaks.

Snow White walks in the kitchen; there are seven plates on the table. She sits and eats.

She walks in the bedroom, lies down on a bed and falls sleep.

The seven dwarfs arrive home after work.

“The lights are on! She is here already!”

They enter the house, they go in the kitchen.

“Look! She ate my food!”

“She ate my food, too!”

“She ate my food, too!”

“She ate my food, too!”

“She ate my food, too!”

“She ate my food, too!”

“She ate my food, too!”

They find Snow White asleep. They go to sleep in the family room, on the sofa bed, on the floor, in a sleeping bag, in a chair, on the table, in a sleeping bag.

The next morning Snow White and the seven dwarfs have breakfast. The men go to work.

The queen goes to the hair salon again and talks with the hair stylist:

“Who in the kingdom is the most beautiful?”

“You are beautiful, but Snow White who lives in the mountains is a million times more beautiful than you.”

The queen is infuriated to know that Snow White is still alive. She now discovers that the girl escaped in the car that was in the woods. The queen locates the car thru the OnStar system. She goes online to view the map with the vehicle’s exact location. Then, she decides to disguise as an Avon sales representative and pay Snow White a visit.